101 The Alchemist
by krazy4crack
Summary: A touching story about life, love and family.


101. The Alchemist

* * *

"No!" A woman cried when the soldiers were taking away her children. 

Their country has been in war for half a century and they have final lost. Their enemies have decided to kill everyone above the age of 10 and for those who were 10 and below, they would work as slaves for the new occupants of the land.

* * *

_(15 years later)_

"Hello sister! I am your brother, Eddie! And we have been enslaved under the occupants of this land for 15 years! And 15 years ago our mother died!" Eddie told his sister in a weird way.

"I am your sister, Jade! And for the past 15 years, we have been working for an old couple, that look like they will die!"

"Why must we speak like this sister?" Eddie asked in curiosity.

"It is so that the reader may understand the story, and so that the writer won't have to write so much things just so the reader may understand the story." Jade tells his brother.

"Oh I see. Well then! I Love bread!" Eddie says in excitement.

"Bread!? I love it as well! Come brother let us eat bread!" Jade proclaims

Jade and her brother then eat bread happily.

* * *

_(2 years later, and they still loved to eat bread)_

"You'll never catch me!" The owner of the largest bread producing company in the land shouted to the cops. He then got on his sailing boat and tried to get as far away as he could from the cops. But then and there he knew that when the cops are on the same boat as you, it really is hard to get away from them by mere sailing!

He was then imprisoned for tax evasion.

* * *

_(2 years later)_

"What fiendish consequences we face my sister! There is no more bread in our foreign land that we never seem to mention the name of!" Eddie says in shock to his sister.

"It will be fine brother; we can get through this horrible tragedy! I believe, the bread shortage will end!"

* * *

_(The Next Day)_

"Brother! I had no bread today! Why is that so!?" Jade says dramatically to her brother.

"You idiot, I already told you yesterday, and you said the bread shortage will end soon."

"But now! This is longer than I ever expected! Without bread! We will die!"

"Could you please stop emphasizing everything you say?"

* * *

_(The next day)_

"Brother, I'm going mad without bread." Jade tells her brother

"Hey you! Jade and Eddie! Go to the grocery and buy me some food!"

"Yes sir, we will surely buy you some bread!" Jade tells her master.

"I said food you idiot!"

"But, but, but. Brad is food! Don't you know that? Why can't you see past their disgusting crust and cotton smooth body and see that even bread, even bread is food. WHY!?" Jade shouts dramatically.

Her master then shoots her in the leg.

* * *

_(The next day)_

"Now today, I want you and Eddie to go to the grocery again, or else!" The master tells Jade.

"Yes sir!" Jade says in fear.

On the way to the market, Jade sees some bread on the street while Eddie is hitting on some grannys. Jade then gets closer and leaps for the bread, but the last thing Jade sees is a horse ramming into her brain, and the last thing Eddie sees before seeing the horse ram into Jade's brain is an old lady's sagging butt.

* * *

_(50 years later)_

Eddie now lived in the forest alone in an old wooden house. He was an alchemist. He loved making break. He forgot why he loved making bread, he just did, but the real reason was because his sister dies due to bread shortage, and bread made him forget about the granny's saggy butt. He made so much bread, that he couldn't finish them all and his house grew moldy.

Eddie then got creative. He wanted to create something new. Something different from the ordinary bread, he wanted to create a baguette. As he was almost done with the baguette, his concoction was flawless, all he had to do was drop a sprinkle of granny butt skin dust and put it in the concoction and it was done. As he turned around to scrape some off the remaining granny butt he had, he accidentally dropped a pandesal into the concoction. It made an explosion and he died with his face stuck in the chopped off granny ass he had collected.

-FIN-

* * *

I hope you enjoyed it. :D 


End file.
